Left to Right- Anthony, Stephen, Opie STEPHEN LYNCH loose at Caroline's in NYC :: archive 1999 photo & interview- Leah Quinn Alrighty then..... it was a brisk and frigid night, Wednesday, the 24th of February and yet I was sent on another mission - this time it was serious, I received my orders to go immediately to Caroline's in the city (New York). My Goal: to meet my contact: the one and only Stephen Lynch and question him about one thing. And that thing was Rock. I knew it would difficult and maybe even dangerous - it was and is New York City and you hear so many stories. The mission would not have been complete had I first not received a ride to Caroline's from Abdul Khan who showed me the true meaning of being a mean and real crazy cab driver in New York City....the kind that you wouldn't mind jumping out of the car the first chance you got, and that it would have been safer to just walk across town. As it was, I jumped out at Broadway and 50th Street and looked uptown, there hung a tall lit sign. It was my contact point. It was Caroline's. The club scene was cool and serene, I made quick friends with the coat hat check girl to help a quick get away, if I needed one. I also checked in with the bartender, ordered a glass of red wine - the house wine. I looked around, the people were antsy and anxious. I walked then into the theater and the large-shaped security-looking usher in a dark suit commented with his partner where to sit myself. Their decision: for me to sit at the end. Hmmmmm at the end... maybe this is the end... maybe they know my secret mission....I tried to smile and plead with them I need a good seat to cover this story and complete my mission, ooooh I mean watch the show. So there I sat at the end of the long-assed booth but yet I was only less than 20' from the stage. Now, why is it hot in here, I asked myself... it's the spot light over to my left. It was shining on top of my head...I didn't like the limelight and was happy when the lights went down. I had good clearance..no tall big guy sitting in front of me, no yacketing cackles coming from a chicks table, I could sit here and calm myself, for my mission was truly about to start. I relaxed a little, then again maybe it was the other glass of wine.... or did they put something in the wine? First the comedians. Yes I laughed and then I laughed again. I would repeat this a full hour, it wasn't just to fit in with the crowd who were also chuckling, but I couldn't help myself. Just truly amazing, the crowd started to warm up. Then it happened. My signal arrived. I had to pay attention. There would be no second chance.  On stage were Opie and Anthony from WNEW 102.7, the Rock of New York, announcing the arrival of Stephen Lynch, the man I was to interrogate about his ability to write comedically dynlenesque great music..to ask how does he do this.....to question why does he do this....and find out where could we all see him next to do this.... this wonderful thing called Rock and Roll. In Real Audio. Quinn: Your so good at your songs, man. How long have you been playing? Lynch: Guitar?, Since college, a few years. Quinn: When did you start writing? Lynch: In college, a buddy of mine and I would sit down and just write the goofiest songs we could come up with and play them for our friends and at parties and stuff. Quinn: And any of those songs you played just now, the set you played tonight, (are from that time in college?)  Lynch: You mean from college? No. I won't do those songs unless my song writing partner is here to perform them with me. Quinn: And well your friend Paul (keyboards) was here . Lynch: Well, Paul is a friend of mine, actually from college, but he accompanies me . It is a different friend of mine, Jeff (who wrote those song with me in college) and I wouldn't feel right to playing those songs without him. Quinn: And who was the person singing harmony (with you) last night on WNEW? Lynch: Ohhh, that was Mark. He's another buddy of mine from college. Demonic looking guy. Quinn: Him? Next to Rick? Lynch: Yeah, that's the one (gesturing). Great singer, good musicians and I dragged him in there (WNEW studios) for five minutes and practiced with him to do the harmonies. He was great. Quinn: Yeah, I heard it, it was great!! Most people at Rockazine.com, a lot of us are artists, a lot of us are musicians, I myself write songs, play guitar, piano, harmonica and a few other of things, play with myself maybe....just teasing...just teasing..... Lynch: HELLO??!!!??Hey...what kind of magazine is this???!!? (laughing) Quinn: Well, we can edit that out. I'm just kidding. Lynch: (And) I'm teasing you. (Smiling) Quinn: Ok. We are supposed to be joking about this. But anyhow, I'm interested though (to know) do you obviously try to push people (with your songs). I personally like your attack on the guitar, its unusual, it's not the samo-o same-o that I hear. I see a lot of bands. I interview a lot of bands. And I personally love your style and you got this phenomenal voice and great range as well as attack on your songs that you almost assimilate those great artists that are making number one songs now and yet you are able to spoof the scenario (subject matter of the song) and yet get laughs and well as, really most importantly, create a full sound. So. (Mark comes on over to join us) Quinn: Hey Mark. How are you doing? Hey man, you did great last night. Mark: Oh, thanks. Thanks. Quinn: You are welcome. Hey Mark, what's your last name? Mark: Tike. Quinn: Like Tykeson Chicken? Mark: No, like little tyke. Quinn: Why don't you say like big Tyke . Alright alright....Back to Stephen- So what drives you to write some of these songs? Is it something you just want to press upon? Lynch: Here's the deal...I'll tell you the whole deal now...(if you could see the visual now) (laughter) Here's the whole thing right here. I want people to listen and hear me play guitar and sing songs. And I find the easiest way to get them to listen to me, is to play the songs that get their attention. And it just so happens that making them funny is the easiest way to get them (the audience) to hear these songs. If I didn't make these songs funny, they would still be songs. You know? They would still be rock and roll folk songs. Quinn: Well that's what I was saying. That's what I love about it (your songs) because you have an incredible gift and talent, you have a finesse with writing rhymes, that's without a doubt, as well as a Dylanesque approach in that your throwing... Lynch: Dylanesque approach? (Laughter......) Quinn: ...throwing out words in a line (of a song) that you are almost pushing the meter, which is unusual. Most people play it real safe. Lynch: Well, that's the thing about most novelty songs, and about most funny songs. You know quote on quote "funny songs"? It that musically, they are really boring. And what I am trying to do is write songs that even if the lyrics weren't funny you might just want to listen to them anyway just because you like the song or the melody or whatever. And whether or not I accomplish that on every song or not, I don't know. But I try and do it enough to get people's attention. Quinn: And that I know you do. ..which is sad... Lynch: I group in a Catholic... Lynch: I group up in a Catholic house hold. My dad was a Roman Catholic Priest. (Laughter) Quinn: Really??!?? Lynch: Yeah, yeah no lie, and my mom was a nun. And they love the song ("Alter Boy"). They see that it's just funny. It's a character. You know what I mean? I'm creating a character. And you know and obviously, hopefully my father never molested any children. In fact I think my mother was the only person my father molested in his life. - Just Kidding. (Laughter by all) "So your friends name is ? Quinn: Karen... So your friends name is what? (Sitting close to Stephen on the over sized chair) Lynch: Actually she's not a friend of mine, she's a groupie. I just met her tonight. Karen: "Go Stephen, go Stephen, Go Stephen."(panting) Quinn: Hey can we have another one of those? Karen: "Go Stephen, go Stephen, Go Stephen." Karen gaspses again. " Now, I was so impressed recently ... Quinn: Now, I was so impressed actually, just recently within one week you wrote a song that actually it was the second time I noticed that you have been able to write a song in such a short time. You obviously have the gift of gab, and I love the song last night. I listened to it. I was pissing in my pants practically the whole show and purposely took a long way home just so I could listening to the radio. The cats didn't like it but hey I could always kill the cats like you tell me too. Lynch: no,, wait, I don't tell people to kill any cats. There will no killing of kittens. or kittens, or puppy dogs, or any animal for that matter. Its a joke!!! (Referring to his "Kill a kitten" song) Quinn: Or gerbils. So you obviously have a CD out. What's the name of the CD? Lynch:It's a self produced DEMO CD called "Half Of Man" and it has five songs with a band. A full band that's sounds Rockin'. Quinn: Now where can we pick this up? Lynch: You can order it from me via e-mail at pushead@aol.com and if you don't have Internet access then... calling out his manager, Eric Zohl, who comes on over to relay where we can get this awesome CD by Stephen Lynch. Eric: There are three places you can get the CD... (1) pushead@aol.com. (2) H and V at 72nd and Broadway (3) A store on east 10th street and Avenue A called "Wondering Dragon". Quinn: And what should we look out for in the window of the "Wondering Dragon"? Eric:"The two headed calf" Lynch: And what about the P.O. Box? Zohl: Send $10.00 which includes postage, which means don't send stamps, postage included to 520 Hudson Street Suite 130 NY NY 10014. LQ: What is this man's relationship to you? Lynch: This is Eric Zohn, my manager and friend. Quinn: So where are your next couple of gigs? Lynch:Well, we have another show here at Carolines (1656 Broadway at 50th Street) in March 24, 1999. Same deal as tonight. Quinn: Which was excellent by the way and I thought you received a wonderful response. I even loved the version of the songs you did. I have been listening to you since you first played on WNEW and have made sure whenever I heard a blurb about you being on their show, I made sure my ass was there to catch you on their (Opie & Anthony's) radio show. Lynch: Thank you. Quinn And you got this way, especially live that you can't catch sometimes when you are on radio. As funny as these songs are, you are this real comedian besides (being) the great artist that you are. Just in from Stephen Lynch It's new, it's temporary, but it's up. Check out users.aol.com/~pushead for the all new Stephen Lynch Homepage! And check out this.....http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/whipemoutwednesday Some Interesting Gerbil Sites just in Case you do find a Gerbil Up Your Ass The Gerbils Color Palette (A Polish Mirror Site) http://comhlan.erin.krakow.pl/mirrors/g-color-palette/colors.htm Gerbil TV http://www.rodent.demon.co.uk/gerbils/tv.htm#PetRR Dexter's Page on Gerbils http://www.dexterdog.com/gerbils.htm Diseases and Ailments in Gerbils http://www.rodent.demon.co.uk/gerbils/ailments.htm Just a click to our sponsor Red Hippo Design |